A Little Noise


Who’s there?

While playing under the dining room table:

Eden (squeaky voice): You can't come in!
Eden (deep voice): Why not?
Eden (squeaky voice): Because you're a monster!
Eden (deep voice): Oh. Ok.

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Flour Power

(two months ago)
Iona: Daddy, am I going to marry you when I get big?
Daddy: No, you'll marry someone else, and the two of you will have your own family.
Iona: (in tears) I don't want to leave! I want to stay with you and mommy!

(last week, after passing the display cakes in the bakery)
Iona: Daddy, what kind of cake did you and mommy have at your wedding?
Daddy: I'll show you a picture when we get home.

Our Wedding Cake

(a few minutes later)
Iona: Daddy, I think it will be ok if I marry someone else and we have our own family.

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Location, location, location

Iona: What are we watching?
Daddy: Hogan's Heroes.
Iona: Are they on a boat?
Daddy: No, they're in a POW camp.
Iona: Oh. New York is sort of like Texas.

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Itsy Bitsy

We found a couple of tiny spiders in the door frame of the waiting room.

Iona: "Why do they have spiders?"
Daddy: "They keep them as pets, to catch flies."
Iona: "They need to build a water spout so they can catch more flies."

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The First Day of Christmas

Daddy: "What do grapes grow on?"
Iona: "Grape vines."
Daddy: "What do pears grow on?"
Iona: "Pear trees."
Daddy: "What animal is famous for being in a pear tree in a song?"
Iona: "Polar bears?"

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Captive Audience

(while riding in the car)

Iona: Knock knock
Eden: ...
Iona: Say, "who's there?"
Eden: Who there!
Iona: Bacon.
Eden: ...
Iona: Say, "bacon who?"
Eden: Bacon who?
Iona: Bakin' a birthday cake!
Eden: ...
Iona: Now, laugh at me.
Eden: ha. ha. ha.

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What was that diagnosis again?

Eden: "Iona had to go to the doctor because she had a rash."
Daddy: "Yep, but the doctor said it wasn't chicken pox."
Eden: "Yeah, but the doctor didn't say it wasn't popsicles. Or an apple, or a banana either."

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How’s that again?

Iona: "Is it dried water or cold water?"

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Weight for it…

Eden (standing on bathroom scale): "42 pounds! I can't believe it!"

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When I grow up

We were watching a movie with the kids. In one scene, the heroine has infiltrated the criminal mastermind's compound, wormed her way through the laser security system, only to encounter a group of gun-toting henchman. In the midst of the ensuing fight scene in which she kicks, punches, and performs various other acrobatics to overpower three adversaries, Eden turns to me and says, in her most serious two-year-old voice, "I wish I could do that."

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