"Laddie, I don't know if you've ever heard those mystical chappies talk about the divine cycle of Fate," said Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge, "but I've always found it true that what you lose on the swings, you make up on the roundabouts. Take for example my recent experience as proprietor of the London Luxury Limosine..."
"What? But however did you get a car, if I may ask?" I inquired.
"Well, in point of fact, my Aunt Julia had charged me with seeing to the annual checkup and oil change for her Rolls Royce, while she took her annual holiday in the South of France. It's a fine machine, long as a Cunard liner and black as a well-polished boot. Naturally I wanted to keep it in service, for it would be a criminal sin to let such a lovely motorcar sit about gathering rust. Besides, she'd popped off without considering that I'd need a bit of pocket money for cigarettes and entertainment."
"So I established London Luxury Limo and quickly lined up five commissions. I chauffeured clients for a wedding, a funeral, a ball, a film premiere, and even a parade. The fare varied, of course, and I wound up making 4, 5, 6, 7, and even 8 pounds on the various trips - but there were difficulties along the way. On one trip the car was stalled in traffic, and on another a drunken bloke tried to climb into the car. Then a flock of pigeons let loose and used the bonnet as a public convenience, and we had a flat tire on another trip. Finally, I did accidentally knock down a lame old duffer and run over his leg, but it turned out to be a wooden one and he was none the worse for wear. "
"Well, you seem very philosophical about it, for one who's had such bad luck!"
"That's the rummy thing, my boyo! You see, my customers - Major Plank, Lord Bittlesham, Algy Fotheringay-Phipps, Lady Julia Fish, and Oofy Prosser - they all left seem to have left behind a little souvenir of their patronage in the back seat of the Rolls. One left a silver cigarette case, one left an excellentumbrella, then one forgot a nice set of kid gloves and one a pocketwatch. Oh yes, and one actually dropped a ten pound note on the upholstery! All in all a goodish haul for the limousine driver of straitened means."
"But surely you tried to restore the items to their owners?"
"Oh, well, you know, it's very hard to recall who left what. As a matter of fact, I can't even recall who went on which trip, or what hardship befell, nor who paid what amount. I'm afraid I can't keep track of all these little details, so it's no use to let the things go to waste."
Well, Ukridge could not determine these details, but I wormed out of him the following six clues. Can you determine who, where, what befell, how much they paid, and what was left behind?